That is what happens when a child dies. We have a beautiful, happy family, then the bottom drops out. The moment it happens we are catapulted into chaos and shock. Nothing will ever be right again … or at least not the same.
Grief becomes our life. For a while we stumble along like we are in a dark cave, and then, little by little, light comes in. For moments we are released from the heart gripping, breath taking grief, but then we stumble again.
Nothing will ever be like it once was, but what we now are, and what we now have is our life—full of purpose, and yes joy. We are here to walk through the door with new grieving parents, grandparents, and siblings. To hold them up when they fall. To watch them walk their path, to laugh and cry. To get to know their beautiful child, to share our hearts.
I never thought spring would come again, but it is here, and so is Mandy.
I want you to know that the way you are feeling today – alone, lost and sad beyond measure, I have also felt, and still feel many times.
When I heard that my heart was touched forever, in a good way. What a perfect time to hear that, year number eleven with Mandy gone. My beautiful butterfly.
I remember how we used to approach February Fifth… with great sadness, possibly anger, and totally lost. The first couple of years we made plans for the day, so we were prepared for the heartache. As time passed, we tried other approaches. To be honest not much really worked.
Ten years ago, three months after our daughter Amanda died, Bob’s cousin and wife lost their son Eric. I was driving home from Melbourne when Bob called me. He was devastated. Hard to believe that a cousin he grew up with was now starting this journey with us. Although our friendship with Gary and Peggy was always “good” we would now be connected in a way we had never anticipated nor wanted.
Holidays are over and 2019 is here. I hate to repeat myself, but where does the time go?
Last year was a great year for me. I put into perspective so many things that had gotten askew over the past years. I’m excited about 2019—new is always good!