A Lesson to Share
Today I packed up the last box for our move in two days. In 52 years of marriage we have had at least fifteen moves. Most of them were with the USAF, but some were in the years after.
Each time I pack the last item, or unpack the last item, I say, “NEVER AGAIN.” But here I am, again…
The move before this one was a little more difficult for me. We were moving from a home we loved, one that Mandy had been a part of, to a small apartment that held no memories. We are two days away from moving back to that house, and honestly I am very happy. Tired, but happy.
All moved in and now what can I share? Well, to start with, I’m not doing this again! Although it is good to be back where our family shared both the best and worst things possible, I think I have a little lesson to share.
No matter where you are along your grief walk…a major change is difficult. Moving is a major change. We not only had a lot of very hard work, but we had difficult decisions to make. We had downsized so very much on the move prior that we had to decide whether to keep doors closed or get more stuff! Luckily our kids are here for five months so we can put off that decision. But eventually we will have to decide.
“No matter where you are along your grief walk…a major change is difficult.”
Moving is HARD work. Maybe, unless you have to move, put it off if your grief is new. Be prepared to make decisions you never thought you would have to make – like where to put all of the primary school artwork, or birthday mementos from parties long ago. Going through all of those memories just tends to stir up some very difficult moments. So, my advice to you is if you can put it off – do.
Even though you may have a choice as to whether or not you make a tough decision about moving, or other difficult decisions-you have no choice to make about your grief. You have to face it, and deal with it.
Grieving is the hardest work you will ever have. So when you have to deal with your grief, try to make it your sole focus. By itself, it is exhausting. When you try to multitask while grieving, you can quickly go into overload.
So to quote Paul Miller, “Be kind to yourself.”
Still in one piece and with love,
Focusing on How They Lived
More Than a Memory
The Holiday Season